Gimme MORE Shelter: Carpe Diem

My dad passed away 3 weeks ago. I had to check a calendar to see that it really has been three weeks already. I want life to slow down so that I can wrap my head around it. But life doesn't slow down. It is either full speed ahead or it stops.

That was true for my dad. When his cancer was diagnosed, he and my mom decided to squeeze all the living they could into the time he had left. He saw family and friends, continued to travel the world and participated fully in community activities. He went full speed ahead. In the last week of his life, he spent Thursday in Ottawa having lunch with family, cashing in some wise investments, and taking his grandchildren to buy toys before watching my son's soccer game and having pizza dinner with us. He also wanted to see the progress in the renovation. I was concerned that he was overdoing it since he was in a great deal of pain and walking with a cane, but he knew he had to pack in as much living as possible into his remaining time. That Sunday, on Father's Day, he finally was slowed down by cancer. He could not get out of bed. A day later, he died at home.

So, in honour of my dad, even though I feel like slowing down and taking time to just be sad, I keep moving ahead full speed. I took time off from work, but I had to keep working - it was report time. The reno didn't stop - we had decisions to make and the last of our stuff to move out. (We have lived in three different places in the past three weeks. Fortunately, we are now settled in the home of generous travelling neighbours for the next few weeks and it is very close to home.) Our kids didn't stop being kids, wanting and needing things and desperately wanting life to return to normal for them. Thank goodness.

I did stop blogging for a few weeks though because I knew that I would have to write this and I would cry - I warned you that there would be tears in this blog. Before I get back to house blogging, I will leave you with some photos of my dad who lived life to the full right until the end.

Now I will stop crying and go carpe diem.